Always Stay True To Yourself!!!

images (10)Something very important that I’ve learned from going to therapy is that you always have to be true to yourself.  As hard and painful as it was, I had finally realized that I hadn’t been true to myself for YEARS!!  I had let myself conform to being a certain way in order to keep the peace and status quo.imagesW9QGLWYN

I can see that it’s been a pattern of mine to do what is easiest at the moment, even at the risk of making things harder later on.  Have you found yourself doing the same thing?

I never considered that I may have been doing damage to myself by being this way.  Have you ever done something or said yes to something that you really didn’t want to do because either you were fearful of the other persons reaction or just didn’t want to disappoint?  I have done so… more times than I can count.

Now I find myself older….and left with uncertainty.  Uncertainty of what I want out of life….who I want to be and what I want to do.  I’ve pushed my wants, needs and aspirations back and down deep.  I feel as if life is passing me by and I no longer care to be just a spectator.  I want to be inspired and passionate about….”something”!

I wonder how many other people out there feel as I images2YZYUXZRdo. Even though the years have flown by and now you are older do you  still find yourself wondering what you want to be when you grow up?

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May I Be…..

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May I be HAPPY

May I be HEALTHY

May I be PEACEFUL

May I be SAFE

 

This mantra has really helped me lately with the anxiety I’ve been feeling.  I say it several times with deep breathes before getting out of bed in the morning and throughout the day as needed.  I tried it first as an experiment and the result was positive.  I hope this helps you also!  🙂

Writing 101…Your Voice Will Find You

The assignment:
You’re told that an event that’s dear to your heart — an annual fair, festival, or conference — will be cancelled forever (or taken over by an evil organization). Write about it. For your twist, read your piece aloud, multiple times. Hone that voice of yours!imagesMGSQ6445

It was the one chance I had to get up close and talk with the actors and actresses from my favorite soaps that I had watched for more years than I care to admit. I was only able to attend it twice and it was a thrill and loads of fun. The event I’m speaking of was “Super Soap Weekend” at Disney World in Orlando and it happened annually. I had to plan my day wisely as there were several events simultaneously. It would be impossible to see every event so you’d have to pick and choose and it was always jam packed.imagesNP4MMFJL

I’m a big fan of baseball and had brought a baseball each time to have signed.  I have two of them covered with autographs.  I remember the first time I had gone and it was the final event of the day and all of the stars were gathered on the main stage. imagesD4GNLFVW It was a question and answer event and I believe some performed musically.  I watched and saw where some of them were escorted off the stage when they had finished.  Everyone watching was so focused on the stage so I B-lined it for the spot where they walked off and hardly anyone was there.  I talked with Wally Kurth (Ned from GH) and gave him the baseball to sign.  He was very nice and kept walking backwards with my baseball he was smiling and tossed it to me. I remember Steve Burton signing it and exclaiming that nobody had ever asked him to sign a baseball before.  Robert Woods (Bo Bucannan from OLTL) was one of the nicest, friendliest and most talkative person I had the pleasure of speaking with. There were 3 or 4 others who really disappointed me but I won’t mention their names.imagesQ6L3JNXN

Some of the other’s I saw and met were: from AMC… Michael E. Knight, Debbi Morgan, David Canary and Susan Lucci.  From OLTL: Hillary B. Smith, Robin Strasser, and James DePaiva. From GH: Steve Burton, Vanessa Marcel and Lynn Herring and many others.imagesUZRUMR8X

Needless to say, I was very disappointed when they had announced that the Super Soap Weekend would cease to exist.  I was even more crushed when AMC, and more importantly, OLTL were canceled as tv soap series’.  I treasure the memories that I will always have of being able to have attended and gotten up close and personal with some of my favorite celebrities.

Writing 101 ….Favorite Childhood Meal

Tell us about your favorite childhood meal — the one that was always a treat, that meant “celebration,” or that comforted you and has deep roots in your memory.

Feel free to focus on any aspect of the meal, from the food you ate to the people who were there to the event it marked.

Today’s twist: Tell the story in your own distinct voice.

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As I sat at home last New Year’s Eve eating my dinner I couldn’t keep my mind from wondering back to when I was a child, still living at home with my parents and sister.

Every New Year’s Eve my mother would order a platter of Sloppy Joe’s.  It’s probably not the Sloppy Joe’s that you’re thinking of.  It wasn’t ground beef with a red sauce on buns. These were seriously huge sandwiches that you could barely get your mouth around to bite into.  I would anxiously await my Dad taking off the cellophane wrapper.  Thinking of the three layers of thinly sliced squares of crust-less rye bread slathered with Russian dressing piled high with corned beef, roast beef and turkey in between the bread along with creamy coleslaw makes my mouth water, even now.  The sour deli pickles were the icing on the cake.

Last New Year’s Eve I went to a local deli and ordered a corned beef sandwich with Russian dressing on the side along with coleslaw and turkey.  It wasn’t quite the same as I remember from my childhood but it was close enough.  My mouth watered as I approached the first bite just as it had when I was a child. A tiny bit of “home” remembered and recreated.

Writing 101… no adverbs

This was the assignment:

Go to a local café, park, or public place and report on what you see. Get detailed: leave no nuance behind.  Today’s twist: write an adverb-free post. If you’d rather not write a new post, revisit and edit a previous one: excise your adverbs and replace them with strong, precise verbs

I wasn’t going to post this because I didn’t think it was very good or descriptive enough but decided to go ahead with it anyway, so hear goes…..

The loud chattering of the two ladies sitting beside me is distracting me from what I came here to do. Inside, the café is jam packed so I came outside with my coffee to enjoy the overcast cool morning and hopefully become inspired to write.  My eyes keep wondering back to an empty store across the street from where I am sitting. I have often thought how much I’d love to open some sort of a shop in this quaint downtown area.

Three cute tiny birds are pecking at the ground hoping to find a crumb while hopping and chirping their pleas for food. I hear three conversations at once and my head begins to spin. I want to shout that they should all shut up and let me write. But, of course, I won’t do that. An older man riding a bike stops and says something that I don’t quite hear. I realize he is talking to his dog who has  wondered toward me dragging his leash. I smile and take hold of the leash and am excited to see the sweet face of a Pappillion. I am thanked and off they ride….the man on his bike and dog inside the basket at the front of the bike , ears flying back from the wind.

The breeze is picking up and the sky is getting darker. The essence  of rain is in the air and  I hurry to my car with the  hope that I will beat the storm.

An End To Many Things That I Love

As summer is coming to a close I’m suspecting it is the reason I am feeling kind of low.  Both kids have started back at school and we are all forced into a structured and scheduled life.  No more late dinners and casual days and evenings.  Before long I will be back to nagging about studying and homework.images (5)

There is something that I love from each of the four seasons but it is “summer things” that I adore the most. Even when it may feel over 100 degrees at times or enduring summer showers, I can always look outside at the green plants and trees and the countless colors of blooming flowers. I will miss my nightly fruit salad of berries, peaches and melon, so juicy and sweet.untitled (2)

It’s back to trying to get to sleep early and setting the alarm for 5:30 am and an end to many things that I love!

 

Quietude

10346538_10202396292216270_1380554718855936953_nThe rumbling of the ocean waves fill my ears with exhilaration

As I lay on the sand the warmth of the sun enfolds my body

I look through the slits of my eyelids at the spectacular ocean

A deep breath and I am immersed in the essence of the sea

I am filled with peacefulness, tranquility and serenity

My soul had longed for this moment

My spirit, now replenished, is rejuvenated and filled with Hope!