How many times do you think I can forgive and go on as if everything is fine? Is it not human nature to feel the love lessen…a little bit through the never-ending betrayals? Do you feel as if I don’t have a right to my feelings? Is it right for me to ignore how I feel because of my compassionate and forgiving nature? Do you feel I should continue to bury what I feel in fear of how what I say will make you feel?
There are things that you experienced early on in life that you say aren’t fair to you….just as what you have done to me through the years is not fair to ME!! At what point do you stop blaming circumstances and life events for your many lies and betrayals? Could it be when you looked me straight in the eye saying it’ll NEVER happen again and promising to come to me first before acting on any deceitful thoughts and feelings? That was the here and now….a conscious promise made in the present!!
Do you think I’m saying these things to purposely hurt you or punish you? Because I am not! This is the fallout from all of the many times you betrayed your vow to me…your vow of monogamy! These are the feelings I am left with. I have finally forced my head out of the sand. I have finally and honestly allowed myself to face it all straight on! I’ve finally forced myself to examine my feelings, wants and needs in life and I’m still working through it. I have chosen to put myself first. My priority is working on me.