When you are totally blindsided and your world is turned upside down….will any amount of time allow you to heal? Maybe it’s because it was never thoroughly dealt with or maybe you thought you had gotten past it. Something triggers a memory and your head is filled with bits of events…..you thought were long buried.
I had found out, my husband of 13 years and father to my two children, was living an alternate life….for a YEAR! Maybe it was longer than that but since I only had his word to go by I couldn’t be sure.
Through the years people had asked, “How can you trust him being on the road for months at a time. I could never do that!” I never considered myself a naive person. I had done my share of living life. His love for me was never in question. Never had he ever given me a reason not to trust him. I just trusted him completely.
It was innocent enough…..I had to log onto his email account while he was on the road working. Our older son couldn’t remember his password and my husband was the main account holder. So I logged onto his account to recover or change our son’s email password. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Before even clicking on any of his emails, they were listed……’Hello Lover’, ‘XOXOXO’, ‘Daydreaming Of You’!!!
My heart had sunk to my stomach and my pulse was racing. The computer was in the living room….my son had a friend over….I had to somehow act normal…….